Friday, January 21, 2011

Cavemen vs. Mammoth

This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time. There is just no historical or fictional period out there that is cooler than Cavemen vs. Mammoth. I dare you to think of one.
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There. I just gave you 10 seconds to think of any time period or fictional universe cooler than cavemen and you came up with nothing. Well, thats not surprising, because its a scientific fact (one assumes) that Cavemen are categorically more awesome than the next best thing (Jawa Wars) by a factor of 77.6.

So whats this all about then? Well, simple. Cavemen vs. Mammoth is in dire need of a wargame represenation. Sure there might be some games out there, but I'll be damned if I have to change browser tabs, open google, type in "Caveman Miniature Games" and then actually search through a few pages to find out whats out there. No, screw that. I'm just going to make one myself, because inevitably whatever else is out there won't cut the mustard, and with such an important topic at stake, that mustard needs to be cut like the bitch-ass seed it is.

But I'm not going to do it by myself.

Here's the deal. I'm going to write three rules. Then every Friday, I'm going to add three new ones based on comments left by you guys. Together we will generate the world's most rad Caveman vs. Mammoth game. Right,... let's do this!

First, some parameters:
1. This is a skirmish game. For now its just you, represented by one Caveman figure armed with a pointy stick.
2. Fire has not been invented yet.
3. These parameters will change weekly.
4. This game is based on a six-sided dice.

So, without further ado:

Rule 1: Cavemen armed with Pointy Sticks hit targets on a result of 6 and each hit takes away a health point.
Rule 2: Cavemen move 6" per turn.
Rule 3: Mammoths have 10 health points.

and go!

12 comments:

  1. Caveman should hit on 5+. This gives you options to hit better or worse depending on the situation.

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  2. Cavemen should require a tank...err, mammoth terror test to attack a mammoth. Maybe a bonus for having friends around...

    CdlT

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  3. The Mammoth should also get to hit the caveman with his trunk on a 6. A caveman has 5 health points, they are tough. The mammoth can only attack if the caveman has already attacked and missed. If the caveman hits the mammoth it is in too much pain to aim his trunk.

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  4. If the caveman fails mammoth terror ... and is within 2 inches, the mammoth gets to roll 4d6 (one die per leg) on a 6, the caveman gets stepped on

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  5. Roll for wind direction. Mammoth has a chance of detecting the caveman as it sneaks through the tall grass. If the Mammoth is down wind, he gets +1 to detect him.

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  6. Excellent rules guys! Keep 'em coming!

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  7. It's a Trap!
    The Caveman can get the Mammoth by surprise sometimes. He waits in hiding near by hoping the Mammoth comes to him. Place several Caveman in hiding counters. (Only 1 has a Caveman under it). Turn them over when the Mammoth gets within 4" to reveal if it is the Caveman. If one turns out to be the Caveman...Roll a d6.

    1. Mammoth moves away d6 distance. Ambush failed.

    2. OH NO! Mammoth detects caveman...roll again.
    1 or 2...Mammoth moves away d6 and Caveman is revealed.
    3. Finds caveman and stomps him good. Inflict d3 stomp damage on caveman. Ouch!
    4, 5. Mammoth trumpet blasts at sneaky Caveman. Caveman must move d6 away as it is a tad scary for him.
    6. Lucky Break. Caveman is revealed but Mammoth does nothing.

    3. Trap works. Mammoth misses a turn. Caveman turn starts as soon as he is revealed.

    4. Trap works. Caveman gets a goood hit on Mammoth. Does 1 damage.

    5. Trap worked better than last time. Gets a massive hit on the Mammoth which does 2 damage.

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  8. All of the mammoths attacks should be area attacks. Pretty much the system is a race to drop the mammoth before he drops you.

    The players play the cavemen. The mammoth has simple rules that govern what he does every turn so the players co-op to drop the mammoth. Or could just roll a d6, and the number of rolls he makes is based on the number of cavemen he is fight?

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  9. excellent ideas guys. I've scored a few more from friends outside the 'sphere so I'll post those up shortly.

    Also, Ive decided to can the limitation on fire as well as the waiting until Friday to post, etc, etc. I'm just gonna post updates as I get them. I just can't sit around until Friday with all the rad ideas like these you've all posted!

    I've added a CvM tab to the top of the blog, so you can go and see the latest edition of the rules. I'll also keep topics posted here regularly so that you can keep adding rules as you think of them.

    Remember, this is a tongue in cheek game, its not meant to be serious. In fact its the opposite. I want to make sure we blatantly exploit all of the caveman cliches out there!

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  10. Extra Equipment Chose one,

    (1)Fancy tiger Cape, Gives + 1 to wooing of the ladies, and will possable confuse the mammoth into thinging you are a tiger,
    when spotted roll a dice on a
    5+ he thinks your a tiger and will move away because he is scared,
    on a 3 or 4 it knows your a tiger and will trample you.
    on a 1 or 2 he just Sorts at you and you lose you +1 to wooing.

    (2) Shinny stones of death or anger. Once each turn you can attemt to through the stone at the mammoth, roll a dice on a 3+ you hit him, roll another dice to see if is was a good idea to throw the stone in the first place,

    On a 6 it will stun the mammoth, it loses its next turn and wound the mammoth once.
    One a 5 it will stun the mammoth, it loses its next turn.
    On a 4 it wounds the mamith once but now he is mad, the mammoth is now mad and if in range will trample you.
    0n a 2 or 3 The mammoth will charge you on your next turn.
    on a 1 the mammoth didn't even notice nothing happens.

    (3) mammoth pee. Once per game you may tag a piece of terrain with the mammoth's pee that you are within 6 inches of, if you do the mammoth must move towards the pee untill it spots you or takes a wound.

    (4) Mud, You apply mud to yourself add 1 to your sneekness.

    -Andrew Haught

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  11. Ok, so a busy life is forcing me to revert back to Friday updates. So look forward to "Mammoth Fridays" from here starting tomorrow, where I'll add the comments above as well as post an important announcement :)

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  12. first dinosaurs now cavemen...i dont know you anymore...

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